“If you don’t make the time on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a LOT of time on dealing with a life you DON’T want…”
Kevin Ngo
As psychotherapists we are not merely our brains or our models – there is still some part of our human nature, which we bring with us to the therapeutic room. This is partially where the fit between the psychotherapist and the patient lives and thus I believe it important that I tell you something both about my professional training (Which kind of Psychotherapist am I?) and about the human side of my professional-self… (What kind of a Psychotherapist am I?)
Which kind of a Psychotherapist am I?
I am a fully licensed Systemic Psychotherapist, an accredited member of the United Kingdom Council of Psychotherapy (UKCP) and of the European Association of Family Therapy (EAFT). After first graduating as a Developmental Psychologist (MSc) I continued my studies at the University of Oxford and then did my specialist training at the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College, London. In addition to that, I am also an Organizational Psychologist (MSc). In terms of the school of thought I mainly use in my Psychotherapeutic practice, I have also trained extensively in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and apply it regularly in my work too, as I do the psychotherapeutic domain of Existentialism.
As pretty much everyone who is truly committed to this field, I realize that, in as much as it is a science, it is also an art, and that means there is nothing short of a life-long endeavor and commitment to mastering it. So, I continuously try to broaden my skills and horizon, consistently furthering my knowledge in Neuro-science, Interpersonal Neurobiology, Attachment Theory and various other areas, such as Physics and Buddhism. Although, at first glance, the latter might seem completely disconnected from the field of Psychotherapy, in my view they are anything but… Actually I find them to be very, very much connected, as they are also largely interested in uncovering what actually forms reality and how we, as humans, go on to build our subjective perceptions of it and learn how best to navigate it.
In my work I draw extensively from all of the above, as well as from life’s other two biggest teachers – art & philosophy.
What kind of a Psychotherapist am I?
As humans we all have our stories… Here is some of mine:
I am one of those few, really fortunate people, who knew from very early on what it is they wanted to do later in life…
I have always been incredibly drawn to people and stories, as well as to the possibilities of change, which putting an order to and playing with life’s messiness allows. Becoming a Psychotherapist was THE natural journey for me since I was still in high-school (which, nevertheless, did not preclude it from often being a rather messy… or difficult journey). Psychotherapy is the only area of work, whether in academia or in clinical practice, that I have ever been involved in! I feel truly lucky to have found a childhood dream, that actually managed to live up to its’ expectations and did not disappoint me one bit – on the contrary, it keeps on enchanting me more and more with its magic – thus mercifully sparing me the need to have to reinvent myself with a new professional identity or embark on a new career path…
I truly love what I do – personally it gives me a huge sense of purpose, meaning and vitality. The opportunity to witness change and growth so regularly is without a doubt an inspiring one, which helps me to sustain high levels of hope, even at seemingly darkest of circumstances. I believe both of these (my love for what I do and my deep belief in the possibilities it brings) are crucially important in my practice, as humans are intuitively incredibly attuned to recognizing fakeness and untruths – they will always know if you are not fully present with them or are not truly committed to them and to your joint venture…
What is psychotherapy for me?
For all the science that goes into psychotherapy, which indeed is a lot, for me there is still a huge amount of magic to it too. In my own, personal words, therapy is having someone to stand firmly by you and join you on your quest to heal, grow and do more than merely to exist. Someone who is able to take it all in and is not afraid of the messiness that will come out, but is instead able to make sense of it, until often unexpectedly beautiful patterns emerge.
I strongly believe that living is a purposeful act and that the 3 key relationships each of us has – the relationship with ourselves, with our close others and with our life (story) – holds the key to what is essentially a fulfilling and energizing life, worth-living. For me, being allowed to witness and be part of people’s journeys, as they navigate through this complexity, is no short than a privilege.