Psychotherapy is what God has been secretly doing for centuries by other names; that is, he searches through our personal history and heals what needs to be healed – the wounds of childhood or our own self-inflicted wounds.
Thomas Keating
Psychotherapy is often referred to as one of the biggest inventions of the 20th century, but it is one that continues to be largely misunderstood and shredded in mystery or often yet – in fear. If you would like to know a little bit more about this, see “Myths & Misconceptions About Psychotherapy“. If you are generally interested in psychotherapy, but are a little anxious or hesitant about yourself turning to it, you might want to read about “Why bother?” – that is, why and how psychotherapy can be useful to all of us.
But what exactly is Psychotherapy and what is it’s purpose? The primary goals of Psychotherapy can briefly be described as the following:
- to reduce suffering, through the alleviation of symptoms, such as emotional difficulties, compulsions, troublesome behaviors, as well as unhelpful or even hurtful patterns, thoughts and beliefs;
- to improve the overall sense of well-being, engagement with the vitality of life and help build increased sense of purposefulness, connectedness and emotional resilience;
- to increase people’s self-awareness and capacity for consciousness, which in turn can help improve their relationships and social skills;
- to help people regain a sense of mastery over, or at least develop a sense of being in peace with their life, through having “made sense” of themselves and of their life-story;
- finally, to help people repair what needs repairing; unlearn what needs unlearning and learn the skills they might need to help them build (or consciously choose) the path of life they truly want to embark on, in order to have a life that feels fulfilling and worthy of living, rather than feel stuck or remain caught in their own repetitive, unhelpful or even destructive unconscious patterns.
In short, the successful Psychotherapy increases the sense of vitality and hope, as people discover exactly what needs to change in themselves or their life, if they are to be pain-free, or symptoms-free and contend; they develop the emotional skills and practical tools to help them solve or improve the life problems which needed repairmen, in order to make their desired positive change and sustain it. Last, but not least, it improves the three key relationships in life – with ones’ self, with life itself and with the important others in one’s life.
As Carl Jung described it, “I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become!”
Are you still unsure if psychotherapy is for you???
Still unsure about it? If you have recently thought about trying out psychotherapy, but have not yet fully made your mind about it, perhaps it is worth your while if you try to get some better understanding of what it is about, what you can expect from it and how can it help, so that some of the fears and assumptions you might have, can be put aside and you are able to make a truly informed and personally responsible choice. In this case you might find it helpful to read Allain De Botton’s poignantly entitled book “What is Psychotherapy?” or read some of the more detailed information and explanation of how psychotherapy works, offered on this site further below.
And then again, it is not at all uncommon for people to have played with the idea of going to therapy for a couple of years, before they actually go on to do so. This is really rather common and normal, and can easily be understood – after all therapy is a rather unknown experience and as such might initially feel uncomfortable or even daunting. Nevertheless, if you find yourself to be one of the people who has thought about it on and off for a rather long time now and has already gathered quite a lot of information about it, perhaps “trying more” rather than “learning more” will be more helpful to you at this point in time. After all, sometimes things in life require us to simply venture them out: rather than perpetually make ourselves ready just give them a try and make ourselves available to them…
It’s not too difficult to get the skeletons out of the closet with people, but to get the gold out is a different matter. That is therapy. Psychology is the Art of finding the gold of the spirit.
Robert Johnson
Ever wanted to know how does psychotherapy actually work and what makes it effective? Then continue reading below…
Psychotherapy owns its’ success and power to induce change primarily on two things – its’ form and its’ process.
Psychotherapy is a uniquely specific human interaction, that is, it is a form of relationship – a professional one, but a very real relationship nonetheless. As such, it has a quality of uniqueness that goes with all relationships, which cannot be described in full – it can only be experienced in order to be fully understood. In a nutshell, it is a uniquely safe space and a relational interaction, which the person in therapy may use for his or her own personal growth. It is not at all rare that this could indeed be the first example of a positive experience of a close relationship for the patient, one which is characterized by trust, a general concern for his or her well-being and an attentive listening and acceptance. It is a place where the patient can bring in all of their totality as a human, not just their preferred, “positive” sides of self, but aspects of the self that were previously ignored, suppressed or cut-off, thus existing only in the unconscious. It offers the patient the space to begin to address important questions or face uncomfortable truths or feelings; to truly examine his or her life – both current and desired – and through the safety of this relationship and space to experiment with other ways of being and of thinking; ways which will eventually enable him or her to bridge the gap between the two. This relational form of the Psychotherapy is immensely powerful, as through a number of complicated processes, such as transference, projection, identification, etc., it helps heal old wounds, caused by earlier relationships, as well as models for the patient a model for a very different, positive new relationship, which they can themselves go on to build in their life. It is namely here why the fit in psychotherapy is so important – it is not only what the psychotherapist is doing, as much as his or her being and presence…
The second means, through which Psychotherapy achieves its success, is its process of Talking. This is because talking and thinking are inevitably deeply interconnected and influencing one another – as humans we need language to think, develop or communicate ideas (alongside art and metaphors). Without having a proper language for our thoughts and feelings to be addressed, they can only remain vague and uncaptured; a mere sensation, trapped in the darkness, without the chance of seeing the light and thus setting us free. As Osip Mandelshtam succinctly described it in his poem, The Swallow: “… but I forgot the word that I wanted to say, And thought, unembodied, returns to the hall of shadows”
The process of therapeutic talking helps the person in therapy learn how to find the language required for his thoughts and feelings to become “embodied”; how to be able to spot and recognize a piece of his or her internal world, which previously could only be sensed, but not named or understood; how to locate it, distinguish it, break it down into smaller pieces, name it and thus express it to both the therapist and to oneself. By the very act of doing so, this piece becomes conscious and can actually be processed and taken control of, as only through such articulation it can become accessible to the mind. Psychotherapy gives the space for the patient to speak his mind – freely, uninterruptedly – and through that to hear it, to get to know it and to have a chance of mastering it.
Last, but not least, Psychotherapy helps us to truly get to know and understand ourselves – just why we do what we do and how that simply makes sense in light of our personal history. Just this, in itself, has a tremendous impact on us, as we start being able to feel more at home and in one with ourselves. It sets us on the journey to be able to have true empathy, compassion and eventually – love – for ourselves. In turn, this helps us to start being more able to acknowledge the flaws in our human nature and accept true responsibility for who we are and how we act, which significantly increases our ability to be successful partners, parents, friends or just human beings. After all we are all a little neurotic, but becoming conscious about the specific ways in which this is the case is the only way for us of becoming a little bit less so…